


Forced to Slow Down

by Begolaman



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry Allen Needs a Hug, Barry Allen is The Flash, Episode: s06e16 So Long and Goodnight, F/M, Hurt Barry Allen, Iris West Loves Barry Allen, Married Barry Allen/Iris West
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29675049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Begolaman/pseuds/Begolaman
Summary: If Iris wasn’t in the mirror during the death of the speed force, and helped Barry through all of the physical symptoms of his speed lost; rather than kicking him out of their home. (During episode 6.16)
Relationships: Barry Allen/Iris West
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Forced to Slow Down

**Author's Note:**

> UGH Iris is still in the mirror guys! I just needed her to help Barry through it all, especially after he just cried to her death in his mothers arms. I don’t really like the mirror master arc, except for the fact that it makes Iris the badass crime fighting lady that she is. She should have just given Eva a nice right punch and she would be knocked out cold. But oh well, this should do for now. Enjoy!

It is constant.

The lightning through his veins, the warmth of electricity in his hug everytime it holded her, and eyes flaking with an uncontrollable force much bigger than any man could bear behind them. It was a constant being, moving with them, living with them, breathing with them, even loving with them. She was his spark, _his lightning rod_ as he says, and he was a lost soul, running to a reason, _to her_ , with every lightning filled step.

But it was gone.

Now he was just a normal person. He was powerless, broken. Iris never minded him having powers but he did. He believed it was his reason, his mission. And losing it scarred him, more than he would ever admit to her. But she saw.

She saw how much pain he was in everyday. She felt his shakiness caused by pushing himself to his limits. She saw his ragged and painful breaths filled with the need to get rid of that humanly helplessness. She heard his small “c’mon”s that he whispered under his breath in the field to get up when put down, body aching in agonizing pain. She wiped his tears that fell unstoppingly after the day he saw his mother die again in his arms, holding her like he would lose her next. “I’m not ready to tell Iris,” he said to Wally and she felt her breath shorten when her brother pitched it to him. He was afraid that she would accuse him, she would say that it was his fault that he changed the future (that they used to dread but now waiting for eagerly because that meant they would see Nora again) and that he keeps making selfish choices that affected them. 

But she wouldn’t. Not this time.

None of this was his fault. He saved the universe for god's sake, and he gets what in return? His mother dying? Again? She knew that he still believed he was the reason for Nora’s death as well, trying to even stop him thinking it when they lay awake at night. It was a lot to bear, and it should never have been his burdens. Not now, certainly not in the endless time periods that he experiences. It is a lot for a human to take, even if it's a metahuman.

She gets the call from Barry in her lunch break. His voice cracks a little when giving her the news. Joe’s shot. He is fine, _but he would have been finer if Barry didn’t kill his mother again._ He doesn’t say that, but she hears anyway.

“Hey dad, you okay?”

“Fine” He doesn’t even give her a head kiss like he always does when she is right to be worried. This actually comforts her more. His dad was okay, I mean, it was one of many bullet wounds that he had to endure in his lifetime. So she lets it go.

“Hey, what happened?”

“There was gunfire. I wasn’t fast enough to stop all the bullets. He’s-he’s fine but it’s- it’s my fault that he got hurt.”

His watch turns yellow.

“Babe, your speed is getting worse, what should we do?”

“We can use facial recognition algorithms, metahuman trackers. I’m gonna find Ragdoll and stop him if I have to use every last resource in Star Labs to do it.” She nods, feeling that so familiar boss voice coming out again.

“We should keep him safe in every way we can.” She says calmingly, like she does in every team work with her husband. She trusts him, speed or no-speed, so she doesn’t get really worried. But Barry shifts in his place, clumps his hands together. He trusts her, but he doesn’t trust himself.

“In every way, I promise. You won't lose your dad Iris, I swear-”

“I know, hey, slow down.” She puts a hand on his shoulder while he holds the bar chair and sighs slowly. She notices that he is trying to stable himself, shuts his eyes to stop the world from spinning. His watch beams red and his breathing gets ragged.

Like Caitlin said, emotional reactions also trigger speed lost. And as it leaves his body, it has physical symptoms. It exhausts him, like if he was in flashtime non-stop. He feels awful and it is visible in him. She can still feel him shake under her hand.

“You should sit down, Barr.” she says, slowly helping him stand. Even if he doesn’t open his eyes, he shakes his head negatively. 

He can’t slow down. _He can’t._ Everytime he does, someone gets hurt, _someone gets killed. His mother got killed, his father got killed, his daughter got killed, his best friend got killed, Iris’s fiancé got killed, love of Caitlin’s life got killed, Cisco’s brother got killed, everyone gets killed, everyone always gets killed, and it’s because of him._

That’s the exact thing that happens that night. Joe gets killed. _Almost._ He survives. But it’s no different. Barry runs, but he slows down, and it almost kills him. He goes to witness protection. “I can’t protect you anymore Joe,” he says, because he has to. He needs to accept it himself. He can’t protect anyone anymore, but he tries.

_He always tries._

Iris learns it later. She is terrified, but she understands. She always understands. _“She should break everything and yell at me, I ruin her life”_ Barry thinks, but she doesn’t. She uses David to call Joe’s hotel undercover, and talks to him. Barry holds her hand the whole time for support. The weak electricity still tries to get to her like it always does, but she likes the warmth of her best friend more. She needs Barry Allen, not the flash. She always needs Barry Allen and only Barry Allen.

They return to the loft. She smiles when she sees the mint chocolate chip ice cream stocked in the freezer. It’s not from Happy Harbour, (since Barry can’t speed there in a minute anymore) it’s from the ice cream shop two blocks away, but it doesn’t matter. It’s still lovely, and it warms her heart just as the time Nora brought her the mint chip ice cream when out with her dad.

Nora’s dad however, goes upstairs to shower. He stayed with her for hours to make sure she was okay, but he was sweaty and tired. So she forces him to take his shower. She suggests helping him, but Barry rejects her. She scoops some ice cream to the cups she excitedly bought when Nora was there, imagining her daughter would love to eat ice cream with her and gossip at least once a week. They did use these cups eventually, just Nora wasn’t there to see it.

After she finishes her cup, and let’s be honest, two more cups, she notices she can hear the water is still running. “Honey?” she yells, waiting for the assurance that she usually gets. But she doesn’t.

She hurriedly makes her way upstairs to find Barry just leaning onto the wall in the shower. She can see his eyes are closed even though he leans his forehead to the wall while really cold water runs down his body. He only really used this cold water when Zoom broke his back, because he wanted to make the aching stop and Caitlin said to him that cold water might help since the speed force burnt the injury in order to fix it. 

He breathes heavily in between his arms positioned to the wall to hold himself upright. He didn’t even use the shampoo she notices, because if he did, it wouldn’t be in its place. He always forgets to put it back into its place like Iris forces him to. She likes these little organized parts in their life, it helps to ground her because their life is never organized.

“Babe, you okay?” His eyes snach open when he realizes that she is there watching him. He turns his head suddenly, and it breaks all of the balance he so hardly acquired. She catches his wrist before his legs have a chance of slipping under him, now her own hand shaking with worry.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just-” he stops to take a shaky breath and the tightness of it goes through both of them, “everywhere is spinning. I tried to take the shampoo but my legs felt like they were splitting in two everytime I moved.”

He bows his head, almost feeling ashamed. He definitely knows what she will ask, so he answers without even letting her talk.

“I didn’t want to bother you, I know it was hard for you today already.” He is in front of her, in the position of a child that’s waiting to be grounded. Her heart aches for him, being this vulnerable in front of her, that he rarely did. He must be in a really bad condition, she realizes. So she tightens her grip on him to take him out. He feels cold and she doesn’t want him to risk getting sick, since he could now.

“You never bother me Barr,” she says in a bored manner. So many years, and he still fears that he is a burden for her. 

He gets out, lets her wrap him in towels and dry him off, just trying not to fall between heavy breaths. This sight makes her even more worried -if that was even possible- and she augments her speed. She finds the most comfortable clothes for him, knowing that it aches when it hits his body. Then she helps him get to bed.

He slouches to the mattresses with a sigh, wincing in pain when his head hits the pillow. Iris wants to actually use a hairdryer, thinking that a damp hair would worsen the ache, but he seems exhausted.

“How bad is it?” She asks while lying next to him and trying to get much of the wetness from his hair with the towel still at hand. She doesn’t expect him to tell the truth, he never does, but he stays quiet, and that’s more than an answer she could ask for. He pushed himself so hard today, Cecile even told them afterwards that the stress she could feel from him was enormous. Cecile even tried to stop him for a minute, trying to calm him so he wouldn’t have a panic attack, but her fear for her significant other was far more grave. So she let him run with everything he had, and when things were okay again, when they were telling goodbye to Joe, she let him stay and watch protectively even though she could feel the pain coming from his hardly standing figure.

Iris doesn’t have to have Cecile’s powers to feel how much he’s suffering, she never had to. She always knew Barry in and out, and even though she was in love with every single piece of him, all she wanted to do was to stop his hurting. It was generally psychological in the first 25 years of his life but after becoming the Flash, psychological pain morphed with tremendous physical pain. It was always too much for anyone to bear.

She just held him closer and hoped that he would sleep. He cling onto her heart's warmth and let it replace the hotness of his electricity that’s abandoning him. His head found its way to her belly and he just kept on breathing steadily with her until he managed to lose consciousness. Tomorrow was going to be harder, they knew that, but at least in that moment and every moment in between every breath, they had each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read! My second fanfic ever. Just a week away from season 7 yay! Please let me know what you think!


End file.
